A Letter to Myself from the Other Side of a Flare

Dear Me,

This letter is for you the next time you experience an extreme flare or bout of depression tied to your grief about your health. It’s perfectly valid to feel a kaleidoscope of feelings: sadness, anger, disbelief, and self-pity. It’s okay to let those feelings in and acknowledge them, cry, and talk about them – burying these emotions won’t make them go away. It can be cathartic to write down how you’re feeling and eventually put those feelings down. Remember to focus on the larger picture, not just what’s in front of you, even though it’s hard. These big emotions are temporary and will subside, and so will the height of this pain. It doesn’t seem fair how many times you have had to ride these waves, but eventually, they will become ripples, not tidal waves. Take some deep breaths. Remind yourself that you are safe and you have survived this before. And if it helps, think about the cracks of light, pockets of okay, and glimmers of hope you’ve experienced lately. Remember that you’ll have those moments again, and likely even bigger ones that you can’t even imagine right now. I am proud of you for putting one foot in front of the other and treating yourself with compassion and grace. You are doing the best you can right now, which is more than enough.

I am sending you hugs and light from the other side – the bright side – of a flare. 

Love,

Me